Parenting Tips – What is Positive Discipline? | Parents

Transcript

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I’m Dr. Ari Brown.
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Today, let’s about discipline.
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What is it and why is it important?
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Discipline literally means to teach.
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From discipline, your child learns self-control and with that comes self-confidence and self-esteem.
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Positive discipline means that you show respect, you listen, you reward good behavior, and
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you remind your child that you love her while you teach her right from wrong.
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This is in contrast to negative discipline like spanking, which teaches children fear
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and leads to poor self-esteem.
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Many child-rearing issues fall into the discipline category, whether it’s teaching your child
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to share a toy, go to bed when he’s supposed to, or eat something other than chicken nuggets,
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it’s all about having a plan, setting limits, and then following through with it.
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Being a parent is not a popular job.
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You’re not your child’s buddy and being an effective parent sometimes means that your
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child will not like the decisions or rules you make to guide her in the right direction
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or protect her.
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And that’s okay.
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Your child will still love you and even thank you years later–okay, many years later–for
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helping her be the best person she can be.
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If you let your toddler call the shots, it will haunt you as your child gets older and
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the stakes are higher.
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This week, it’s demanding candy at the grocery store check-out line, later it’s going to
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a party with underage drinking or drug use.
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Keep that in mind.
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There are eight key points to discipline.
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Be a good role model.
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Your kids are watching you and your actions speak louder than words.
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Be consistent.
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Whatever rule or limit you set, you must stick to it.
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Don’t back down to avoid conflict.
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Be calm and brief.
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The less you react, yell or lecture, the better.
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Make your comment short and sweet.
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Be quick.
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Don’t wait to discipline your child even if you are out in public.
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He won’t remember why he’s being disciplined if you wait until later.
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Pick your battles.
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Decide which behaviors are serious enough to discipline and decide which ones to just
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ignore.
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Be realistic.
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How long is your child really willing to endure running errands or you taking a phone call?
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If you have reasonable expectations, your child will act out less.
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Catch your child being good.
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Your child craves your attention.
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Kids prefer positive attention like hugs and praise, but they’ll also accept negative attention
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like you screaming and yelling.
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So if you praise your child for cleaning up his toys, you’ll see more of that behavior
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and he won’t have to resort to naughty behaviors to get you to notice him.
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Finally, remind your child that you love her.
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The behavior is bad but never tell a child that she is bad.
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After you’re done with your discipline moment, say something nice and give her a hug.
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It shows that you’re ready to move on and not dwell on the issue.
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Just remember, your child’s behavior won’t change immediately.
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You are planting the seeds of discipline right now.
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Don’t expect a tree to grow overnight.