The Most Organic Vlog: Parenting Tips

Transcript

00:00
♪♪
00:02
>>HEY, GUYS!
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I’M SAWYER.
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>>AND THIS IS MADYSEN.
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>>AND WE OWN A
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QUINOA P.R. COMPANY.
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>>AND WE’RE HERE
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FOR ANOTHER VLOG,
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THIS TIME ABOUT PARENTING.
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>>LAST TIME,
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WE MENTIONED OUR NANNIES,
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AND OUR COMMENT FEED BLEW UP.
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PEOPLE WERE LIKE,
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“THESE PEOPLE HAVE CHILDREN?”
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AND “WHO WOULD ALLOW THEM
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“TO RAISE INFANT CHILDREN?
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LIKE, THOSE POOR KIDS,”
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AND I’M LIKE,
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THANK YOU.
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I KNOW WE DON’T LOOK
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LIKE WE’VE HAD KIDS.
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>>AND THAT’S BECAUSE WE HAVEN’T.
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I HAD A SURROGATE, YOU KNOW.
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>>I HAD TO CARRY MINE
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AND IT WAS LIKE, BLAH.
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>>THAT’S WHAT I’VE HEARD.
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AND THAT’S WHY I’M
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TOO POSH TO PUSH.
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WE ARE GREAT MOMS,
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SO WE JUST WANTED TO RECOMMEND
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SOME OF OUR FAVORITE THINGS.
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WE’RE TOTALLY OBSESSEDLY
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WITH THESE NINE THINGS.
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>>YES.
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>>THAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE!
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>>NUMBER FOUR IS ORGANIC
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BABY CLOTH DIAPERS.
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LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT HOW
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ECO-FRIENDLY, HOLISTIC,
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WE LOVE THE EARTH.
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>>LESS WASTE TO OUR PLANET, DUH!
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>>YES.
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AND I MEAN, CLEANING THEM
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OFF IS KIND OF GROSS,
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BUT IT’S NOT LIKE I’M
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CLEANING OFF PILOT’S DIAPER!
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[LAUGHS]
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>>NO.
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WE’RE SO ECO-FRIENDLY,
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WE DON’T EVEN USE CLOTH DIAPERS.
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OUR BABY JUST GOES ON OUR NANNY.
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>>EW.
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>>SHE’S SO GROSS.
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>>BUT GOOD FOR YOU
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FOR THE EARTH.
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>>NUMBER FOUR IS A NEWSLETTER
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FOR FEMINIST MOMS CALLED
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“FEMEMOMS.”
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>>WE’RE TOTALLY FEMINIST
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BECAUSE WE FOLLOW BEYONCE AND
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EMMA WATSON ON INSTAGRAM.
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>>WE DO.
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WE’RE TOTES, SUPES
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GIRL POWER FEMINISTS,
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BUT, LIKE, OUR HUSBANDS HAVE TO
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DO EVERYTHING FOR US ‘CAUSE WE
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DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING.
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>>YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT.
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THAT’S WHAT IT MEANS.
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>>SOMETIMES MY HUSBAND
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COMES HOME AND HE’S LIKE,
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“HONEY, MAKE ME A SANDWICH,”
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AND I’M LIKE,
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“I DON’T KNOW HOW.”
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SO HE HAS TO MAKE
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HIS OWN SANDWICH.
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>>OKAY, SO NUMBER FOUR:
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TIP ABOUT VACCINATIONS.
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DO NOT VACCINATE YOUR BABY!
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INSTEAD, ESSENTIAL OILS
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THEM EVERY DAY.
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ESSENTIAL OILS CAN CURE POLIO.
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PEPPERMINT OIL WILL
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GET RID OF MEASLES.
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SCIENCE.
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LIKE, GET REAL.
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>>FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT
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WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO
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PLAY BASKETBALL INSTEAD OF
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BECOME PRESIDENT IF HE HAD JUST
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HAD ESSENTIAL OILS AS A CHILD.
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>>AND, LIKE, THINK ABOUT HOW
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MUCH MORE RICH AND COOL
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HE WOULD BE IF HE PLAYED
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BASKETBALL INSTEAD OF WAS,
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LIKE, THE GROSS PRESIDENT!
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>>YEAH.
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>>NUMBER FOUR IS A
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SUPES AWESOME BABY HACK.
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>>YEAH.
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OKAY, SO WHAT YOU DO IS
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YOU BUY ORGANIC SEASHELLS
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TO HANG ON THE WALL
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OF YOUR NURSERY.
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THEN, WHEN YOUR BABY CRIES,
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YOU HOLD A SEASHELL UP TO YOUR
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EAR AND YOU CAN HEAR THE OCEAN
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INSTEAD OF YOUR BABY CRYING.
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AND I JUST LIKE TO INVOLVE,
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YOU KNOW,
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THE EARTH IN MY PARENTING.
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>>[SIGHS]
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>>SAVE THE WHALES.
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NUMBER CUATRO.
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ONLY BUY DESIGNER
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CLOTHES FOR YOUR KIDS.
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>>IT WILL LITERALLY
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HELP YOU LOVE THEM MORE
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WHEN THEY LOOK CUTER.
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>>SERIOUSLY, IT’S SOMETIMES
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NOT EVEN YOUR CHOICE.
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LIKE, MY SIX-MONTH OLD,
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PHOENIX, REFUSES TO WEAR
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ANYTHING BUT PRADA.
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DOLCE AND GABBANA
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GAVE HIM A RASH.
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>>OKAY, LAST BUT LEAST IS
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NUMBER FOUR,
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AND IT’S HOW TO PASS THE
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TIME WHEN YOUR KIDS AREN’T
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AT THEIR OTHER HOUSE.
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I MEAN, WHEN YOUR KIDS
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AREN’T AT THEIR SCHOOL.
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IT’S SOMETHING THAT
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I LIKE TO CALL
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“SLEEPY HOT MOM.”
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>>YEAH, I PLAY THIS GAME
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WITH MY KIDS WHERE I PRETEND
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TO BE ASLEEP AND THEY, LIKE,
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JUMP ALL OVER ME AND
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TRY AND WAKE ME UP,
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BUT I NEVER DO BECAUSE
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I TOOK A SLEEPING PILL.
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IT’S SUPER FUN AND RELAXING AND,
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YOU KNOW, IT’S GREAT BECAUSE
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MOMS DESERVE A BREAK.
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LIKE THAT CHEWBACCA MOM.
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I’M, LIKE, SO EXHAUSTED,
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AND THE MAID VACUUMS AT,
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LIKE, 10:00 A.M.
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>>NO!
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>>YEAH.
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>>IT’S, LIKE, UGH,
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#MOMLIFE.
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>>WELL, THOSE ARE
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OUR PARENTING TIPS.
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>>THANKS SO MUCH.
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WE HOPE YOU HAD FUN
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LIKE THE CHEWBACCA MOM.
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OH MY GOSH, WE’RE SUCH NERDS.
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>>WE LOVE “STAR WARS” SO MUCH.
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[LAUGHS]
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>>LOU SKYWALKER IS MY FAVE!
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>>LOU AND LEIA FOREVER.
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>>WE HOPE THAT YOU BECOME,
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LIKE, AS GOOD A MOMS AS US.
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>>YEAH, WE HOPE THAT FOR YOU.
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PEACE AND LOVE.
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[KISSY NOISE]
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[SIMPERS]
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>>HEY GUYS!
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THANKS FOR WATCHING.
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MAKE SURE YOU CLICK ON
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THE SUBSCRIBE SQUARE.
03:33
>>YEAH, AND GIVE US A POINT UP.
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>>MHM.
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>>BECAUSE, UH, YOU LIKED IT.
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>>POINT UP!
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>>AND UH, COMMENT BELOW
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IF YOU WANT MORE TIPS ABOUT
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YOUR KIDS AND THINGS.
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>>RIGHT.
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>>BECAUSE KIDS ARE
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GREAT AND PRECIOUS.
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>>SEE YOU LATER!
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>>BYE!